A

…And in a Nutshell

And the company director spins the globe
Looks into on atlas of the world
A supermarket lifestyle for as all
A thousand nations under company control
Coca-Cola got machines in every land

No-one got the teeth to bite the hand
Stole their labor, their culture, and their lives
To create a Coca-Cola paradise
Swallowing their soft drinks and their lies
Let’s take the blindfold from our eyes

A Fine Career

The councilor comes with his battered old suit
And his head all filled with plans
Says “It’s not for myself, for the fame or wealth
But to help my fellow man.”
Fist in the air and the first to stand
When the Internationale plays
Says “We’ll break down the walls of the old Town Hall
And we’ll fight all the lifelong day!”
Ten years later where is he now?
He’s ditched all the old ideas
Milked all the life from the old cash cow
Now he’s got a fine career
Now he’s got a fine career.

A Man Walks Into a Bar

A man walks into a bar, he says, «Give me a Bacardi and Coke!»
The Back o’ Beyond Repair welcomes the broken and the broke
Blather hitches a ride on the back of second-hand smoke
And the man, well, he’ll be the punchline in someone else’s joke

I’ll beat this drink, it’s a habit I’ll kick
Please help me now, I’m gonna be sick
Something hit me, I wound up on the floor
Damn this Bacardi, I don’t want any more

A man walks into a think-tank full of hooch and future sales
Mixing wish lists with extention plans re: Guantanamo jail
Smell the solid beech, and a whiff of cannot fail
And a gilt-tray chock with goblets dripping cut-throat cocktails

And they drink a toast to Florida and all its air-conditioned hum
And they damn the health of Cuba and they damn its bona fide rum
He sucks a kalamata olive, spits out the stone
And he mimics crushing people between forefinger and thumb

I’ll beat this drink, it’s a habit I’ll kick
Please help me now, I’m gonna be sick
Something hit me, I wound up on the floor
Damn this Bacardi, I don’t want any more

The first man wakes up in the same bar, but it’s different, as in a dream
In fact it’s someone else’s dream, clean sheets and new regime
Fidel burns as Nero roams, «Give the bar a zip code!»
«See you…» «Si… C.U.», and it’s one more for the road

I’ll beat this drink, it’s a habit I’ll kick
Please help me now, I’m gonna be sick
Something hit me, I wound up on the floor
Damn this Bacardi, I don’t want any more

A Morality Play

People would have to be told that if they refuse to answer questions when they might be expected to answer questions, that is something which can be used at the trial and which might strengthen the case against them.
Hang Michael Howard, oh c’mon…
Act one, the smell of green leather, French polish, quite pristine, not a hair out of place, not a wrinkle, not a crease, the silverware all clean. Exquisite chaussures grace marble floors, be upstanding, for men of yore. But wait, who’s this, sticky under the collar in Elsinore? Enter silent comedy geek with dynamite down his pants. Nervous, shuffling on his feet, leading a merry song and dance. A back seat driver of good moral fibre, holding up the light. He’s made his own bed, now he’s got to lie in it. Ho hum, it serves him right.
Act three, ‘I am the lord of the dance,’ said he. John the Baptist, dripping wet, playing sir politick-would-be. Backslapping, backsliding, back to basic instincts, backfiring. By your own choice you’re on a hiding to nothing, I ask you which is more comforting? The thought that I am bad seed, gone to seed, turned sour by TV sex and violence. Or even worse, am I unleashed by my own volition to do you ill? ‘Condemn a little more, understand a little less.’ Oh sad sir, thou jest! Ha ha! I am Prometheus, prepare thee to meet thy nemesis.
Thanks a lot.

Add Me

I’m a loner, alone with neuroses and hate
Anger is a permanent character trait
My letter bombs are primed and they’re ready to send
Would you like to add me as a friend?
I’m a wound-up whiner with a fetish for guns
I’m almost 50 and I live with my Mum
I hope my nude picture doesn’t offend
Would you like to add me as a friend?

Add me, add me
Me mother says she wished she’d never ‘ad me
Add me, add me
Would you like to add me as a friend?
Would you like to add me as a friend?

I’m a recovering alcoholic, I rarely leave my room
Peeping through the curtains in my dog costume
The voices in my head, oh they’ll get me in the end
Would you like to add me as a friend?
I’d really like to mail you the picture that I drew
It’s Kylie’s body but the head is you
I’ve asked you fifty times before, I’m asking you again—
Would you like to add me as a friend?

Add me, add me
Me mother says she wished she’d never ‘ad me
Add me, add me
Would you like to add me as a friend?
Would you like to add me as a friend?

♪♪

Add me, add me
Me mother says she wished she’d never ‘ad me
Add me, add me
Would you like to add me as a friend?
Would you like to add me as a friend?

Here’s a picture of me in my Nazi uniform
Doing a trick with an egg that I like to perform
At a monster truck rally that my Mum and me attend
Would you like to add me as a friend?

I’ve added Britney and Paris and you and Tom
I’m going to find your address so I can visit you at home
I don’t like people but I like to pretend
Would you like to add me as a friend?

Add me, add me
Me mother says she wished she’d never ‘ad me
Add me, add me
Would you like to add me as a friend?
Would you like to add me as a friend?

After Shelley

Anybody can press a button and blow up a ship
Anybody can use an atom bomb
Anybody can pick up a big whip and whip you
Anybody can stick a knife into you
Anybody can pull a trigger
But where’s the man with the character, as can take a punch on the nose and keep his temper, keep control of himself?

The seed you sow, another reaps
The wealth you find, another keeps
The clothes you weave, another wears
The arms you forge, another bears

The songs you write, another sings
The heart you lose, another wins
The food you bake, another eats
Poison-laced and oh so sweet

Rock and roll
Check your pulse
Art or death
True or false
Can’t stay young
Can’t grow old
Overpriced
Undersold

Ah-Men

A visionary pause in the cycle
When she refused to buy or sell
When the daughters of perfect wives
Said there must be more sacrifice
Needed more than symbolic change
More than silent wasting away
In factories and sterile marriages
He was God, she was powerless
With a brick for every year of life
She set out for the house of lies
The old boys’ club under siege
His lordship cowered under his seat
Called for brandy and reinforcements
Blasted away at every movement
Close to breaking down the door
Past thick blue line and stupid laws
Black Friday left her bruised and stubborn
One brick from winning the struggle
Rapunzel hacked at the ivory tower
Asquith quickly rose to the hour
Appealed to patriotism, oily smiles
Gave nothing, called it compromise
Gauging the situation perfectly
Said ladies, ladies, listen to me
Nineteen fourteen, we’re on the brink of war
Pick up a flag, drop your cause
Your targets are counter-revolutionary
Take my hand in democracy
Here’s a piece of paper
You’re officially free
Here’s a list of instructions
For you to obey
And here’s sharp knife
To cut your own throat
Small sacrifice in return for a vote
Whispered word in Pankhurst’s ear
Visions of the first woman peer
Led women down the garden path
And into the arms of the enemy
Jail and force-feeding, waster martyrdom
Sold her songs for the national anthem
Slotted the smile back neatly into place
Served refreshments
At the end of the race
All demands reduced to a joke
X marks the plague, abandon hope
Butlers still pouring brandy for the rich
Excuse me pass me the privilege
A woman’s voice, the state’s idea
Same vested interests, same dirty deals
Currie and Williams immersed in the times
Examples to keep the rest in line
Currie and Williams two of a kind
Examples to keep the rest in line
Absolute power
Absolute power
Ladies, ladies, listen to me

All Fur Coat & No Knickers

A wave for the cameras
All fur coat and no knickers
Jayne Mansfield she came down
To cheer up the town
Lord Bono and his pals
They were a bit too busy saving the world
Well you have to take your hat off to The Edge

Those were the days my friend
We took the Stretford End
Now it’s a Theatre of Dreams™
It’s all smiles and handshakes
There’s not a function I can’t make
If the photo opportunity knocks
So long you suckers
All fur coat and no knickers
Cos I just sold my funeral
To Hell–Oh Oh Oh
Those were the days my friend

We took the Stretford End
Now it’s a Theatre of Dreams™.

All in Vain

I wish
I wish
But it’s all in vain
But it’s all in vain

I wish
I wish
But it’s all in vain
But it’s all in vain

I wish
I wish
But it’s all in vain
But it’s all in vain

Different colours, different faces
Different schools in different places
Scour the morning papers, all in vain

Evening after, who remembers?
Say your prayers for the great pretenders
I see nothing but flowers, all in vain

I wish
I wish
But it’s all in vain
But it’s all in vain

I wish
I wish
But it’s all in vain
But it’s all in vain

All the gravestone elegies
I-never-met-you memories
And every TV picture, all in vain

All your questions, deep as skin
Seperate worlds to put them in
Another might-have-been, all in vain

I wish (colour blind as tse-tse flies)
I wish (sucking all our difference dry)
I wish (and as we sleep they multiply)
I wish
I wish (and as we sleep they multiply)
I wish
All in vain
I wish (and as we sleep they multiply)
I wish
All in vain
I wish (and as we sleep they multiply)
Multiply

All Mixed Up

Sitting on the shelf when someone called my number
With a template in one hand, scissors in the other
‘What lump of clay is this?’ Said the king maker to me
Dull, gray matter, perfect for his alchemy
The future flesh and blood on the bones of the big lie
A no-wit who’s face fits and never wonders why
I met my Mephistophelles, the papers sealed in blood
Like I got a transfer deal the lad done good
(Chorus)
Good King Danbert at the helm
His face on every coin of the realm
And every time we sing, it’s three cheers for the king
Hey, hey, hey
Sirhan, Sirhan, where have you gone?
All mixed up
We take a fool for a king
All mixed up
Mistake a fool for a king
(Repeat)

The washing powder advert
That everybody hates
But all the research shows that’s how brand names are made
Squeaky clean, no skeletons
In other words I’ve never lived
Makes me highly-qualified
To decide what gives
Rough-shod, riding rail-road
Over all the awkward questions
Queen Victoria of Grantham
To give me her blessing
It’s written all over me
I’m touched by the hand
I am the something very rotten
In the state of little England
(Repeat chorus)
All mixed up
(Repeat)

Alright Now

(Sometimes nuts are tough to crack)
(Sometimes nuts are tough to crack)
(Sometimes nuts are tough to crack)
(Sometimes nuts are tough to crack)

Beginning to wonder (Sometimes nuts are tough to crack)
(Sometimes nuts are tough to crack)
Beginning to wonder (Sometimes nuts are tough to crack)
(Sometimes nuts are tough to crack)

Back in 1975 between Hell and home and a life of crime
On Valium and something strong been chewing the fat with young beyond
Two or three don attitude with a ready-made catch and a big bashnude
What is this one? What’s he got? Just do it, don’t take one more shot
Just do it!

(Sometimes nuts are tough to crack)
(Sometimes nuts are tough to crack)
(Sometimes nuts are tough to crack)
(Sometimes nuts are tough to crack)

Beginning to wonder (Sometimes nuts are tough to crack)
(Sometimes nuts are tough to crack)
Beginning to wonder (Sometimes nuts are tough to crack)
(Sometimes nuts are tough to crack)

Woman born before her time, she loved alone in the pale moonshine
Fingered Hollywood up your sun, fought two cops, knocked out one
While some girls will and some girls won’t, Frances never swallowed soap
If a bad man laughed she spat it back, sometimes nuts are tough to crack

Excerpts from «The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner» (1962):
«Colin Smith, 993, sir.»
«Good. Come in, Smith. Sit down. Cigarette?
«No, thanks.»
«Well, you’re a new boy here, aren’t you, Smith?»
«Yeah.»
«Yeah. Well, so am I. Two new boys together, in a manner of speaking. Well, perhaps we can help one another.»
«How, sir?»
«Well, you can help me by telling me all about yourself. Now, for instance, how’d you come to be here?»
«What’s that tape recorder on for, sir?»
«Don’t let it worry you.»
«No, I won’t.»
«Anything you say is strictly confidential. It won’t go beyond these four walls. Okay? So, how’d you come to be here?»
«Well, I got sent, didn’t I?»
«Yes, I know you got sent, but why?»
«I got caught. Didn’t run fast enough. »
«Well, now, when you broke into this, what was it?»
«Bakery.»
«Bakery, yeah. What were you thinking about at the time?»
«I wasn’t thinking about anything, I was too busy breaking in.»
«Yes, but… Well, just describe the action to me in your own words. Put me in the picture.»
«Got over the wall of this baker’s yard, broke into his office.»
«I think you can do a bit better than this, Smith. Surely your nerves were on edge, weren’t they? You felt afraid.»
«Well, if I felt afraid, I mean, I wouldn’t have broken in, would I?»
«Yeah, all right, fair enough. Look, I want you to help me. I’m going to say a word and I want you to reply with any word that comes into your head, okay? Like, if I say to you, ‘Food,’ what do you think of?»
«I’m sorry, I don’t get the idea at all.»
«Well, would you like to do it to me? Say a word to me.»
«Tape recorder.»
«Tape recorder. Desk. I don’t know why I said desk, it just happened. Now, I’ll say one to you. Water.»
«Football.»
«Football. Sky.»
«Snow.»
«Snow, indeed. Girl.»
«Look…I mean, what are you trying to do to me? I don’t understand.»
«Now, come on, Smith, please, I’m trying to help you, help me. Girl.
«Boy.»
«Boy. Have you got a girlfriend, Smith?
«What’s she got to do with you?»
«Oh, right, right. Gun.»
«Horses.»
«Knife.»
«Smoke.»
«Car.»
«Compass.»
«Father.»
«Dead.»

(That’s the way I like it)
(That’s the way I like it)
(That’s the way I like it)
(That’s the way I like it)
Beginning to wonder (That’s the way I like it)
(That’s the way I like it)
Beginning to wonder (That’s the way I like it)
(That’s the way I like it)
Beginning to wonder (That’s the way I like it)
(That’s the way I like it)
Beginning to wonder (That’s the way I like it)
(That’s the way I like it)
Beginning to wonder (That’s the way I like it)
(That’s the way I like it)
Beginning to wonder (That’s the way I like it)
(That’s the way I like it)
Beginning to wonder (That’s the way I like it)
(That’s the way I like it)

Nick the lad, he nicked his coat; happy hour — just finished it
While show lap seven I towed in line; that’s one little fish he left high and dry
He’s an airlift plane on a bombing raid and his come-to wife will smile away
Looks like, doctor, no danger, Nick gets hard to crack it, don’t ya?

Always Tell the Voter What the Voter Wants to Hear

Welcome to Never Mind The Ballots. The phone lines are now open. If you’d like
to put a question to the candidates the number to ring is 0532779463.

You want jobs? I’ve got jobs!
Hospitals? Top of my list!
Tax cuts and platform shoes
For every small businessman
Just give me your vote
Just give me your vote
Schools, prisons? Of course we’ll build them!
Condoms for the American GIs!
Nuclear reactors breed like rabbits
Police oppression? You can have it, sir!
Just give me your vote
Put your cross in the box

Hello, we’ve got our first caller. You’re name’s Martin. Hello Martin. You
disagree with our statement policy. Well Martin to tell you the truth I
couldn’t agree with you more. It’s outrageous, disgusting. But unlike my
colleague on my right, we’re the party who say what we do, do what we say. You
can bank on us Mart!
Good evening, Shirley. I’m so glad that you’ve rung. The matter is as dear to
me as it is to you. Give me four years and I’ll get right down to it. Because
unlike my little balding colleague on my left, we don’t make promises we can’t
keep.
You still there, Martin? Just one more thing. Give us your vote

You want houses? See me afterwards
Want my autograph? See my bodyguard
Pre-election budget handouts
You want a war? No problem!
Just give me your vote
Just give me your vote

Amnesia

Goodbye to the summer
Sold down the river
Unhappy ever after
Well did you ever?

Did you ever reach for the glued-down penny?
Same old joke and it’s not funny
Burns are red, bruises blue
Out with the old cheated by the new

Do you suffer from long-term memory loss?
I don’t remember…
Do you suffer from long-term memory loss?
I don’t remember…..

You sing the same old verse
Stick like glue for better or worse
What goes around comes around
Again again again

This heart pulled apart
Hydra fighting head to head
Burns are red bruises blue
Out with the old cheated by the new

Do you suffer from long-term memory loss?
I don’t remember…
Do you suffer from long-term memory loss?
I don’t remember….

Amnesia

Do you suffer from long-term memory loss?
I don’t remember…
Do you suffer from long-term memory loss?
I don’t remember…..
Do you suffer from long-term memory loss?
I don’t remember…..
Do you suffer from long-term memory loss?
I don’t remember…………

An Interlude: Beginning to Take It Back

Words to describe Nicaragua of old
Cash crops and hunger and US control
Coffee and sugar on company land
Made to supply what the boss would demand
Then one July morning in seventy-nine
Nicaragua decided to leave it behind
(Chorus)
And the people are learning to take back their lives
As the country will change, Sandinista survives
Women are winning what they’ve never known
The power to organize outside the home
Starting to find what is equal and fair

Ensuring that this revolution is shared
Regaining lost chances, demanding much more
Running the factories, fighting the war
(Repeat chorus)
Nobody claims that it’s over and done
There’s too much depends on enlistment and guns
And raising their children and filling their plates
And chasing the Contras to Washington State
The Yankee conspiracy thrown to the ground
That’s where the spirit of change can be found
(Repeat chorus)

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